Wednesday, September 30, 2009

here again

The beginning and the middle are never quite the same. The events, dates, the small twists and turns are always different and unpredictable but the ending has always been the same.

I have so much to say.
Not just say, but I want to yell it!
Scream and shout it from the roof tops!!

Yet when I open my mouth… silence.
When I put my fingers to the keyboard… I’m frozen.

I’m about to walk in front of that bus knowing it can’t stop.

This thing; it’s putting me on self destruct mode.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I gave in

Many of you might remember when Boy Child and I moved, we also had to surrender our cats because our new place didn't 'allow' pets.
As time has passed we've had some crazy and chaotic moments.
We've also had some times of sadness. Sadness I haven't been able to blog about because I just cannot put the feelings into words; something very unusual for me.

August 26th, Boy Child's Grampie passed away, and this hasn't been an easy adjustment.
Of course, it never is. I think I've had a harder time than he has; I'm so emotional.

So between moving, the chaos, and Grampie passing, Boy Child has been having a hard time adjusting, common with SPD, he has been heard saying, "I wish I had a furry friend".

Now... if that doesn't pull at your heart strings!

I did some thinking, heavy thinking, talking to him about the responsibilities; this time would be different! I filled out the proper paperwork to allow us to have a pet here at the apartment and our search for a 'furry friend' began...

...and ended. I'd like to introduce you to Baxter, adopted from a local shelter.



I cannot even begin to describe the personality this kitten has. I've had many cats and so far, he really has been the best.
Sooo... last night, he was snuggled up in my lap while I was doing some school work and I noticed something, something that was too damn cute to pass up.
You'll have to excuse the quality, I used my blackberry to record him, it was all I had within reach.

(watch his mouth)


Monday, September 21, 2009

keepin' the doctor away

Being fall in Maine, this means it's time for apple picking. The hunt for those perfect apples; so much fun! Then eating that very first apple! Yum!

Here is Boy Child dragging out our treasure; 26 pounds of freshly picked apples!
26 POUNDS!!

So far I have made a crisp and 2 breads. One of those breads is going with him to school for his teacher.
Sadly, that has barely made a dent in our apple collection.

So there's crisp, pie, bread, muffins... (not big on sauce)

Oh... and not worry about my fiber intake that's for sure.

So, what's your favorite apple recipe?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

karma

I heard their relationship ended.

Honestly, my first thought was good! That bastard deserves to have his heart broken too. What seemed just like yesterday, he was ripping mine out and squeezing it, just so.
Karma; it was now a sweet new taste in my mouth.

Then I started to change those thoughts; almost instantaneously.
Wait… just a few shorts months ago, I was aching, and I was aching a lot.
If I could sleep, I slept. If I could find comfort in food, I found it.
Many thoughts and actions would produce tears, as a result of this.
Anditwouldhappenjustthisfast.
What a horrible feeling and just a rotten way to live. Heartache hurts. It just plain fuckin’ sucks; no matter how you slice it.

I never thought we’d speak again after we parted ways. I’m bitter and I hold grudges for a long time.
Unhealthy? Yes.
Today, I had a moment of weakness though.
I didn’t call or see him but I sent him an instant message; because I never had it in me to delete him off my “friend list”, you never know when a day like this may creep up on you.
Psychic I tell ya! PSYCHIC!

I told him I was sorry they broke up. I hoped he wasn’t sitting around the house; that’s not the guy I knew.
We continued on with the conversation for a little while longer.
When it ended he mentions it wasn’t a moment of weakness that I had, just a good person who cares.

Excuse me while I toot my own horn for a moment, but you know what!?!
I did care! I do care!
Being hurt sucks, heartache is just brutal and I don’t think it’s fair that anybody has to experience it. Even if you are the guy who, just 7 months ago, did what you did.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go rinse the taste of Karma out of my mouth.
Oh, and 7 months of comfort food? Helloooo fat jeans!!
Time to get rid of those too!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

nice shoes

wanna…

We all know that line; the famous, cheesy and ever so corny pickup line.
We all know several tacky pickup lines. I’m sure some of you have heard them; quite possibly even been the victim.

Well, I don’t know about you but I LOVE pickup lines! The more off the wall they are the better.
A good pickup line to me is one that makes me roll my eyes because it is just THAT bizarre but then I can’t help but throw my head back with laughter.

I don’t think I have ever fallen victim to a pickup line but let me tell you this: the man of my dreams is going to make my knees buckle and my heart melt by feeding me one of the best of the worst pickup lines! I’m just waiting…

This morning I get a text from Ed, (Hi Ed, I know you’re reading!) saying he has the worst pick up line EVER! He claims he stopped reading his “article” to send me this text. Which means he stopped reading… ohh probably Maxim! (nothin’ but love!)

“Don’t fall in love with me, but it’s going to be impossible not to fall in love with you”

No way is that the worst. I LOVE it!

Here are a few more that I’m an absolute fan of!

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling….
Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
Hey baby, let’s play house, you can be the door and I’ll slam you!
I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

Now you tell me, what are some of your favorite pickup lines? Are there any out there that make your stomach turn whenever you hear them? What about your friends?

I want to hear them! Go ahead…. SHARE!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

can't make it up

To the individual who recently Googled: can you have ocd fireman

I'm sorry if you feel Google misguided you and you were not able find the specific answer you were searching for but...

YES!!

Yes, you can have an OCD fireman.

Thanks for visiting; come again soon :-)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

say what!?!!

I've been friends with this guy for 10 years now. He's been great! He has seen me experience many things in my crazy-hectic life but the end result has always been acceptance and vice versa.
A few years ago he settles and gets married.
Few weeks ago, he tells me he's getting divorced.
Whatever.

Tonight I get a text message from him: "U need a snuggle budy 2 nite? i got 2morrow off"

Further proof why I sleep alone.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from U.S. Cellular

Sunday, September 13, 2009

sunday

Friday, September 11, 2009

sink or swim

I’m 29. I’m almost 20-10!
I have an 8 year old son.
Dating. It’s not easy. It’s hard. Ok, it fuckin’ sucks!
Add a child to the mix and it’s not easy, it’s hard and fuckin’ sucks X 10!!

I’m domesticated and I’m already settled down in the child department. I don’t go out and do the party thing. I rarely drink and I don’t smoke. I have a small group of friends but when it comes to social outings, we don’t have much in common. I like being home, doing home things.
Between my mom duties and school for both Boy Child and I, I’m really busy.
Would I want it any other way? NO!

Does it help with dating? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

When a guy asks, “what you did today?” and you tell him….” I packed Boy Child’s snack, filled out his book order, volunteered at the school for picture day, made dinner, did dishes, helped with homework, gave him a bath and had the normal night time routine.” you can already see him rolling his eyes.
Then there is the question I absolutely hate… I mean HATE! “What do you do for fun?” Well… I do all kinds of things that are fun and a huge majority of them involve my child.
Chances are this is going to bore a guy to death and be on his ‘the last thing I want to hear’ list.
Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way. Being a single mom is tough!
Am I exhausted? Sure.
Am I complaining? NO!

I don’t do week night dates, I can’t; I won’t. I don’t have a sitter. I won’t get a sitter. I don’t believe in it. That is one thing The Mailman and I did agree on.
Then the weekend comes and you’re thinking… “Now you’re alone! Use this time to get out there and date!”
Well my loves, wrong!
Whatever I didn’t get done during the week I need to do now! This is my time of quiet, peace, and solitude. Here is a chance to do homework without having to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is my time to clean the house and pick up toys without turning around and seeing those same legos back on the floor… again!

I can date and juggle all of this. I have done it before and I would happily do it again but this brings me to the problem. A lot of guys are not ready for this. They want to be eased into this.
Do I blame them? NO!
Guys have said they can do this. They can adjust into the domesticated lifestyle.
Newsflash: there is no adjustment period.
It’s either sink or swim.

I hope you brought your life preserver. Ya know, just in case.

Monday, September 7, 2009

not the same

Last night I was chatting online with my greatest friend in the whole world, Amanda about, well we put a whole new spin on random.

Take a look:

Amanda: I am eating cowtails....they are yummy
Me: Ewww those poor cows!
Amanda: they are hard to chase
Me: omg-- totally disturbing
at the fair-- next to the sheep
ready for this?
the meat guide!
what body part is what for food
like the thigh is used for whatever-- the rump is roast-- blah blah... totally effin disturbing
Amanda: that is wrong
Amanda: PETA would have thrown paint on that!!!!
Me: PETA would have thrown paint at the whole thing
animals in cages-- blah blah
it was horrible
Amanda: yeah....I am not loving the whole fair farm thing
Me: yea-- I'm just not into it that much anymore
Boy Child loves the goats so much that I just want to open the gate and yell... run!!
Amanda: LMAO
Me: I'm serious! they're so flippin' cute
and they love him too
dammit-- frig the cat, I want a goat lol
Amanda: Ha ha ha.....I bet that would go over well with the compound
Me: these assholes can have cats and dogs-- snort pills, imma gonna get a goat
let them think they're hallucinating
HAHAHA!!
Amanda: right......Onion would probably think it was a horse
Me: neigh!


******

Me: facebook is available in 65 languages
Me: who speaks 65 languages
Amanda: holy guacamole
Me: I didn't know there was even 65 languages to speak
Amanda: really.....yeah there are more than that.....I think
Me: that's disturbing!
if I start clucking and neighing will you still understand me? would facebook understand me?
Amanda: You have me dying over here......yes I will......farmese is easy to understand
Wait.....I have to say something funny
poopdink
Me: wtf is that?
poopdink?
Amanda: that is my something funny
think about it and don't tell me you won't laugh
Me: umm Amanda
that's disturbing
Amanda: lol
you love it and you know it.....I make you laugh
Me: and kinda gross
Amanda: it was the first thing that came to mind

Even though she has moved away, we still have crazy random conversations whether they are via IM, facebook, or twitter but it's just not the same.

I miss my friend.

Friday, September 4, 2009

see it to believe it

Have you seen this?
AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com is completely worth checking out!
I'm going to warn you though, once you start you will not stop. I repeat, WILL NOT STOP!

I have been looking at these photos and laughing. Literally laughing out loud because more often than not I've been familiar to some of those. If you haven't, you know someone who has!

After seeing a few pictures I have been heard saying the following:
"Oh my god! I had that shirt!
"Oh no! I've done that!"
"Sorry Boy Child, I think I have a picture of you doing that"
"What the fuck was my mother thinking?"

Go look! What are you waiting for? GO LOOK NOW!!

I want to hear your awkward photo stories! Have you done the arm shelf?