cleaning out my closet

Well the time has come. I'm packing up my tiny little house to move into another tiny little... apartment. Yep, an apartment.

I'm giving up all the comforts of house living to move to an apartment. For those that have made this transition, you know what I am talking about.

Privacy: it's time for you to take a hike!

Although I will say I am thankful we will not have a neighbor upstairs or downstairs because our apartment is set up like a mini condo; rather cute actually.

Today I decided to clean out and begin to pack up a closet. You would not believe what I found in there!

* 5 curling irons and 2 flat irons

Ok seriously! What the fuck was I thinking or not thinking? I will admit, I change my hair style often and need various size curls or the flat iron to get rid of the pesky wave I occasionally acquire when I want it straight but really!! SEVEN?? Maybe that explains why I opted for the loose curl perm back in November.

* 3 hair dryers

Yet again. Hello!?! THREE?? One wasn't even a properly functioning dryer. If I remember correctly it used to shoot blue sparks on occasion.

* 4 gently used bottles of Boy Child's shampoo
Just the other day I had to buy Boy Child shampoo because he was running out of the stuff he had in the shower. I'm obviously not paying attention!

* 4 cans of mousse

I don't even use mousse. It never works on my hair. Never has. Never will. I don't even get what the purpose of that stuff is. (let me add in there are 2 more cans of that shit in the bathroom)

* 6 cans of hairspray

I can't even explain this. Really.

* 4 bottles of not empty shampoos and conditioners

My only thought is... I get bored easy and felt I needed to try something different, the bottle looked better so I smelled it and well, it had me at "hello"

* 2 boxes of the same exact allergy medicine.

One expired. One not.

* Numerous amounts of expired medicines

Again, no explanation.

* 6 (at least) boxes of band aids

Boy Child asks for these all the time. A new design will come out because of a new movie (thanks a freakin' lot Disney/Pixar) and he just has to have it, so I cave. I am not buying any more of these friggin' things. I do not care if he is 17 and has to go to school sporting these beauties...

He should have thought about that when he was asking for them at the precious age of 7. (even though they are kinda cute and I've been known to wear 'em)

* 5 travel toothbrush holders
2 people live in this house. Count them: ONE. TWO. When the heck did I start traveling anyways?

* 6 hair brushes
I don't even use brushes. I use a wide tooth comb or pick. Sometimes I'll use a round one but I'm just not coordinated enough to blow dry, use said brush, look in the mirror and then when you add standing to that the equation... Wow! Huge accident waiting to happen. Oh, and brushes rip and tear hair anyways so they're just bad news in my book.

This is just the beginning; my other closets I know are in the same condition.

Hi my name is Jenn(ifer) and I have a serious freakin' problem! The above example is a classic example of bipolar. Although, Nora's sister says it's lack of planning and organization.

Either way... it is definitely time to purge and let go!

mr. clean ain't got nothin' on me!

I hate cleaning.
Wait... let me repeat that in case you didn't catch it the first time.

I. hate. cleaning.

I'll do it but nobody said I had to like it. I wait until it can't be held off any longer then I bitch about how awful it is. I hate this house, I do not have enough space in my kitchen for the things I want (gadgets!) let alone the things I already own; or any other room for that matter. My computer desk is hidden under piles of papers, books, bills that probably need to be paid sometime soon and possibly even Boy Child's snack from last week. In this house, the possibilities are endless!

So because I really don't have enough to do... Christmas shop, study for finals, catch up on my online courses, take said finals AND pass, cross every possible thing that can be crossed that I will pass, ohhh and live life! Ya know like get up in the morning, shower, brush my teeth, and make sure Boy Child does the same! Maybe even eat!

My genious ass has decided to clean! Yep! I can't believe it either! Maybe I'm being incredibly hopeful that I'll have a chance to move and if I do this cleaning bullshit now I won't have to do as much later. I've lived here for 6 years and did I mention that I hate cleaning, so there is a decent amount. I'm not talking washing the dishes and mopping the floor. I'm wiping down cupboards and walls here people! I didn't even do this when I was pregnant with Boy Child and was supposed to experience that whole "nesting" thing. Yea.. what the fuck ever. I think the mailman is 8 years late delivering that memo. (Those bastards steal mail ya know? Ha!)

Now during all this I'm learning very valuble lessons. Seriously. Pay attention; let my stupidity teach you.

• Do not wait 6 years to clean your oven; it's gross.
• When that aerosol can says fume free; they LIE!! You're sticking your head in that oven spraying toxic chemicals to clean who knows what from the past 6 years... fume free my ass!
• That dish soap that promises to give you better/softer skin after 5 uses or whatever it is they say, they also LIE! If I wanted better/softer skin I wouldn't wash dishes. Your soap may be "great" for my hands but it sucks at washing my dishes! I want clean dishes, not softer dishes. Think about it.
• There is nothing "fantastic" about cleaning. Spray Spray.. sniff sniff!! Yep I'm losing brain cells just thinking about it.
• Floral scented cleaning stuff still stinks! Lavender, roses or pine doesn't make it more enjoyable or encourage me to clean. Lavender makes me sleepy, roses stink and pine makes me want to go outside and play!
• A pretty colored mop doesn't make the job any better... cleaning is still *gag*cleaning*gag*
• Kitchens should not be yellow and white. You either like this (I actually do but I won't admit it) or you don't but it is horrible to clean! Don't belive me? Bring a bucket, cleaner of choice, and elbow grease. I'm looking for a few good (wo)men!
• magic erasers fuckin' rock!!

These are just my thoughts with the kitchen and I've just begun. In another week or so I'm off from school for a whole month! Look out because I'm going to clean, throw away and bombard freecycle like it's your birthday!