a letter because I hate dating

Dear Mother Nature:
Why must you be so moody? Seriously 24 inches of snow? The local weatherman is predicting about 2 feet of snow to be dumped on our area! Must you really?
I have a date Friday night and that is when you're supposed to start your PMS spazz attack, and because I don't care to drive when it's snowing, you're really putting a kink in my plans!
Can you change your plans for Saturday? Saturday works better for me.

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Speaking of dates... I hate them. I'm going to tell you why...
First date? Almost always uncomfortable.
Dinner and movie dates out are lame.
I like to be comfortable in every sense of the way.
I want to skip all the junk and get right to the point.

Here's an example: Jennifer Marie, this is how you pronounce my last name. I have a brother, parents are divorced, mom is a little unstable, dad is a hard ass former marine. My Memere is my role model; I get my strong will and determinism from her. Boy Child is my everything and I talk about him a lot, and will continue to do so. I did this growing up, here are my mistakes and I can guarantee that many more mistakes will be made... and I welcome you to make mistakes too.

Only problem is, when you throw all that out there from day 1, it's unwanted information. This is me and this is what I have to offer. I don't want to give it my all to find out that you don't like random middle of the night trips to Walmart where my only purchase is a bag of Swedish Fish and a bottle of Snapple.

I'm domesticated: I cook, I clean (sometimes), I enjoy family activities, nights at home cooking together, parades, fairs, board games-- you know, things that don't involve bars and partying like its 1999.

Oh... and don't even get me started on those awkward silences. I like when you get past the point where silence is welcomed and no longer awkward.

I either love you with all that I have, or I don't.