Dear Cole,
Today is your 8th birthday. Amazing eight.
I never put any thought into this day when I heard your daddy announce “We have a boy!” as the midwife was placing you into my arms.
The past 2,922 days have gone by unbelievably fast; so fast that I could never put it into words for you to understand. I can only hope that someday you will experience it for yourself but instead, please just slow down and truly enjoy what is around you.
In the short span of 8 years you have had a lot of changes, changes for the better and some that aren’t quite as nice, but you have done an excellent job adjusting. You shine above and beyond!
You lost tooth # 1, 2, 3 and 4 and couldn’t wait to see what would magically appear under your pillow when you opened your eyes the next morning, even if it took an extensive amount of drama to get those pesky little teeth to come out. Tooth #1 was the most exciting only because that Fairy person left you $10. I’d say the drama was worth it.
You’ve had your patience tested like a true fisherman’s should be. You saw those fish but they weren’t biting what you were offering. You tried and tried but you soon learned that sometimes it’s acceptable to sit back and just watch; they’ll be bigger next year.
School is hard and friends are complicated but you’re learning that you can talk to me and I’ll help you work your way through this struggle. You can barely make it through the walkway at school without telling me what happened during your day. Don’t ever stop; this is a key to survival. Trust me.
I admire you for your love of numbers. Yes, you’re counting of UPS trucks, particular colored cars, or anything for that matter may drive me a little crazy at times but you have a gift; do not disregard it.
From the moment I discovered that you were going to be part of our lives, I knew I would love you. I just never fathomed how big my heart would become and that it could possibly hold this much love for another human being; a human being that relies on me the most. A little boy who calls me mom, sometimes momma and on occasion you’ll shout out, “Maaah!”
It saddens me to think that someday soon you won’t crawl into bed with me in the morning for that last moment snuggle before our day starts. This has been something we have done since the day you were born. Your daddy would put you in bed with me before he left for work and we would look out the window as he pulled out of the driveway, then finish our snuggle and talk time. Even now, once you have woken from your peaceful slumber, you crawl into bed with me for some morning snuggle and talk time. I must say, this is the part of every day, these short ten minutes, which I will probably miss the most when you decide you are “too big”.
When you have had enough of whatever bizarre thing I am doing, you shake your head, roll your eyes and proclaim, “Mom, you’re nuts!” To which I just have to remind you that yes, that may be so, but at least I’m fun. You’ll appreciate that when you are “too big”.
You’re becoming so independent that it is scaring both you and me so you often ask for me to do something to bring you back, if I haven’t already beat you to it. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches always taste better when mom makes them anyways.
Your father and I may live in separate homes but we still love you the same. We loved you from the start and we will continue to do so. You are the perfect combination of us and we wouldn’t want it any other way. You have your daddy’s brown eyes with my green shimmer. Your eyes cannot be any more perfect than that.
You have an amazing sense of humor. You know when to show your sense of class and when to pull out that card that allows you to be full of spunk and sass! You have an amazing ability to be sensitive; not only to those around you but to yourself. Never lose that character trait; it truly is priceless.
You’re a true gentleman at heart. Remember our hike last summer on Acadia Mountain? You thought you saw a raccoon so you told me to stay back; you would go check it out. Your mission at that moment was to protect me, your mom.
Every day that passes I am more thankful than the day before that you are here with me, with us. I can’t even begin to remember what life was like when we didn’t have your smiles, your deep belly laughs and giggles to experience and share with every other person around us. Even on the days when I have to wipe away your tears and give you those hugs to reassure you that I’m here for you, this makes each and every day worth its weight in gold.
This year my wish for you is to shine and continue being the brightest star in my eye.
Love,
Momma
I miss you.
