mr. clean ain't got nothin' on me!

I hate cleaning.
Wait... let me repeat that in case you didn't catch it the first time.

I. hate. cleaning.

I'll do it but nobody said I had to like it. I wait until it can't be held off any longer then I bitch about how awful it is. I hate this house, I do not have enough space in my kitchen for the things I want (gadgets!) let alone the things I already own; or any other room for that matter. My computer desk is hidden under piles of papers, books, bills that probably need to be paid sometime soon and possibly even Boy Child's snack from last week. In this house, the possibilities are endless!

So because I really don't have enough to do... Christmas shop, study for finals, catch up on my online courses, take said finals AND pass, cross every possible thing that can be crossed that I will pass, ohhh and live life! Ya know like get up in the morning, shower, brush my teeth, and make sure Boy Child does the same! Maybe even eat!

My genious ass has decided to clean! Yep! I can't believe it either! Maybe I'm being incredibly hopeful that I'll have a chance to move and if I do this cleaning bullshit now I won't have to do as much later. I've lived here for 6 years and did I mention that I hate cleaning, so there is a decent amount. I'm not talking washing the dishes and mopping the floor. I'm wiping down cupboards and walls here people! I didn't even do this when I was pregnant with Boy Child and was supposed to experience that whole "nesting" thing. Yea.. what the fuck ever. I think the mailman is 8 years late delivering that memo. (Those bastards steal mail ya know? Ha!)

Now during all this I'm learning very valuble lessons. Seriously. Pay attention; let my stupidity teach you.

• Do not wait 6 years to clean your oven; it's gross.
• When that aerosol can says fume free; they LIE!! You're sticking your head in that oven spraying toxic chemicals to clean who knows what from the past 6 years... fume free my ass!
• That dish soap that promises to give you better/softer skin after 5 uses or whatever it is they say, they also LIE! If I wanted better/softer skin I wouldn't wash dishes. Your soap may be "great" for my hands but it sucks at washing my dishes! I want clean dishes, not softer dishes. Think about it.
• There is nothing "fantastic" about cleaning. Spray Spray.. sniff sniff!! Yep I'm losing brain cells just thinking about it.
• Floral scented cleaning stuff still stinks! Lavender, roses or pine doesn't make it more enjoyable or encourage me to clean. Lavender makes me sleepy, roses stink and pine makes me want to go outside and play!
• A pretty colored mop doesn't make the job any better... cleaning is still *gag*cleaning*gag*
• Kitchens should not be yellow and white. You either like this (I actually do but I won't admit it) or you don't but it is horrible to clean! Don't belive me? Bring a bucket, cleaner of choice, and elbow grease. I'm looking for a few good (wo)men!
• magic erasers fuckin' rock!!

These are just my thoughts with the kitchen and I've just begun. In another week or so I'm off from school for a whole month! Look out because I'm going to clean, throw away and bombard freecycle like it's your birthday!