it's incredible

I started to forget what your voice sounded like.
I forgot what your hands felt like when they caressed my skin.
I forgot how you smelled after a shower, that smell I often found myself missing when you first left.
The memory of your smile and glimmer in your eyes even disappeared from my mind.

Then suddenly, the reasons why we didn’t make it began to slip my mind and powerful thoughts of you came back.
I started yearning for your voice. I craved that touch on my skin. I had a need to see you smile and be the person that had helped make you smile.

Before I knew it, I had your voice back softly whispering to me while you caressed my skin.
I really forgot how much I missed you until I had this again.

Then I was brought back into reality, like a hard, fast punch to the gut.
There was a reason why I started to forget. It was because I needed to.

We just cannot dance to the same song in this thing we call life.

I was moving on; slowly but I was going to get there. Not just because I needed to, but because I wanted to and I had just sabotaged myself.

Something different is happening now.
I have a yearning and craving for something else.

It’s not your voice, your touch or even your smile, because that’s gone.

It’s something bigger.

I want to hear my own voice.
I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
I want to see my own smile.

I now have an incredible need for it.