sometimes you can't fix it

Tuesday. Never saw him.
Wednesday. Never saw him.
Thursday. Never saw him.
Friday. Never saw him.
Saturday. Never saw him.

Over a week. Damn close to 2 weeks actually.

Friday I was officially moved into the new place and instead of him helping, my rockin' kick ass friends helped. Ya gotta have friends!

He would occasionally send a text message over those two weeks. Sometimes he sent me a message online but I don't really call that "communicating". Not anymore.
He offered to help with the move. He should have just been there. Maybe I expect too much but this has been talked about since December. Absolutely foolish.
Where I lived before and now, he has to drive by to get to and from work. Drop by, say hello. I mean fuck, I am your girlfriend right?

I've exhausted my efforts. He's done this before and I'm always the one knocking down his door (literally and figuratively) getting him to talk, communicate... something. I fight to get us together and/or keep us together. This time-- no. If he wants this... us; he'll do it. I am done.

Friday night he sent a text that proved he was home alone... drinking. I ignored it.

Saturday night I sent a text, because this seems to be the best way to communicate with him, and told him I was home unpacking and a few other words. His basic response... "in for the night".

Just fine and dandy! He randomly continued to text, did the yahoo chat then he vanished! *POOF*
Little while later he sends another text mentioning that he's at some "bar" and it is boring.

I felt like I was just kicked in the gut. He couldn't spend time with me. Ya know... his girlfriend. His whole "in for the night" was a huge crock of shit!

So... I slept on it and then Sunday I went over. I have had enough. I didn't walk into that house I used to feel so comfortable in; I knocked. I made him get off his ass and answer the door.
Standing in front of this man I no longer knew, I handed him a key; the key to this unfamiliar house.

"What's this for?"

"I don't need it anymore."

Then we went around and around in circles. He telling me everything I do wrong, along with the things about him that irritate me. (Alright, so I have pet peeves. Who doesn't) Me making him aware that he lied.
It was like a race track....round and round.

After close to an hour of this he asks "what are you doing here if you can't stand me?"

From there, this insane and uncontrollable feeling overcame me. I don't even know where the words came from but they were there. I reminded him of all the little things he told me I "never do" and how I can't stand him, sarcastically and in a very bitchy tone of course.

Me:
*Right... so all the weekends I could have stayed home, instead I was here, because I can't stand you.
*Instead of my child sleeping in his bed during the school week we stayed here, because I can't stand you.
*I was so excited to move so you could come to my house, because I can't stand you.
*I shampooed my couches so you could sit on them and not worry about pet dander, because I can't stand you.
*I made sure I used allergy cleaner over regular cleaner, because I can't stand you.
*My cats are gone, because I can't stand you.

I know I rattled off several more but because I was so involved in the moment, it all just happened.

I grabbed a few things I had there and walked out of this strange house, away from this strange man and never looked back. I have no idea if he was still sitting in that same chair I was standing over that entire hour, or if he got up to watch me. I now know that I can't fix something that was broken from the very beginning. Something that he broke more than a year ago.