He asked me if I loved him. I was silent.
Then it was: "why do you love me and what do you love about me?"
My throat wet dry and I felt like I was being choked.
I instantly stopped breathing.
My fingers went numb and my feet became paralyzed.
I was upset because he was questioning me and my words, but I didn't have an answer for him.
I still don't have an answer for him.
I wonder if I'll ever have an answer for him; especially the answers he's looking for.
If he had asked me a year or even months ago, I could have rattled off an in depth list of things about him that made my knees weak. Or the things about us that were amazing.
The moments that gave me butterflies. The times when I had the biggest smile on my face.
Now I can't.
Is it really possible that in a blink of an eye those things change? Those moments stop?
Just.Like.That.
Done.
Do we really measure love by things? Moments? Is it possible to measure love? How does one do that?
What about defining love?
Is it possible that I didn't love him? If I did, if I do; then I should be able to answer him.
Right now.
Even if there were problems. Even if I did walk away.
Love isn't supposed to have a light switch, but right now... my light is off.
1 comment:
Quite honestly,I think your feelings for him might have been changing for a while,and it's only now that you're really thinking about it,that you are noticing how big the change is.Love is mutable,just like everything else.And a lot of the time we are helpless to do anything to stop the change.Maybe it's the best thing for you.Only time will tell.
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