karma

I heard their relationship ended.

Honestly, my first thought was good! That bastard deserves to have his heart broken too. What seemed just like yesterday, he was ripping mine out and squeezing it, just so.
Karma; it was now a sweet new taste in my mouth.

Then I started to change those thoughts; almost instantaneously.
Wait… just a few shorts months ago, I was aching, and I was aching a lot.
If I could sleep, I slept. If I could find comfort in food, I found it.
Many thoughts and actions would produce tears, as a result of this.
Anditwouldhappenjustthisfast.
What a horrible feeling and just a rotten way to live. Heartache hurts. It just plain fuckin’ sucks; no matter how you slice it.

I never thought we’d speak again after we parted ways. I’m bitter and I hold grudges for a long time.
Unhealthy? Yes.
Today, I had a moment of weakness though.
I didn’t call or see him but I sent him an instant message; because I never had it in me to delete him off my “friend list”, you never know when a day like this may creep up on you.
Psychic I tell ya! PSYCHIC!

I told him I was sorry they broke up. I hoped he wasn’t sitting around the house; that’s not the guy I knew.
We continued on with the conversation for a little while longer.
When it ended he mentions it wasn’t a moment of weakness that I had, just a good person who cares.

Excuse me while I toot my own horn for a moment, but you know what!?!
I did care! I do care!
Being hurt sucks, heartache is just brutal and I don’t think it’s fair that anybody has to experience it. Even if you are the guy who, just 7 months ago, did what you did.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go rinse the taste of Karma out of my mouth.
Oh, and 7 months of comfort food? Helloooo fat jeans!!
Time to get rid of those too!